


colour coding

by sanctuses



Category: TsukiPro the Animation
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Colour and music metaphors, Domestic fluff (kinda), Drabble, Established Relationship, Found Family, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 01:57:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16075940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctuses/pseuds/sanctuses
Summary: shiki wasn’t the sort who paid as much attention to colour the way an artist would, but as a musician, it did work as inspiration for his music sometimes.and here, he thinks about what the members of sq mean to him, and how he could use the bonds that he had with them as inspiration for a song.





	colour coding

**Author's Note:**

> aaah this has been a project ive wanted to work on for so long but never got around to finishing, so im glad i finally managed to complete it!
> 
> this fic contains a lot of musical and colour metaphors, and the flow might be a little weird from when you start, but i think you'll get used to it by the end!
> 
> i wanted to write a soft, fluffy and descriptive shikirikka (and shuei) so here you guys go, as a way to make up for how cruelly i slaughtered everyone with ama me usque dum dolet....
> 
> i tried my best to express how i feel shiki's opinions of the rest of sq are! so please enjoy :)

shiki wasn’t the sort who paid as much attention to colour the way an artist would, but as a musician, it did work as inspiration for his music sometimes. different people had different symbolisms for every colour; and in his case, he associated every colour with a certain sound. and being an artist (even if it was just in a musical sense), colour played a key role in the sort of mood and vibe anything was given, be it music, artworks, or even the environment.

and he colour-coded things unconsciously so that everything would have a meaning, because nothing was unnecessary in his eyes. nothing could possibly be unnecessary, or else he’d accidentally fall back into self-loathing where his musicality was meaningless and he’d be empty all over again.

therefore he always threw his heart and soul into his music; even if people usually didn’t notice he even had a heart and soul at all; even if they always wrongly assumed that it was just his music that existed within him.

he let out all his feelings through his music, for there was nowhere else he could go with his pent-up emotions that he didn’t have the capability to express through words. therefore he expressed those through instruments and keys and everything musical. everything had a tiny symbolism, and even if he was the producer but not the singer, the song would still have a part of him because of all those emotions, all those thoughts, and every part of him.

the best part of it all was that only he would be able to pick up on it, for every decision he made had a reason and meaning behind it; every song he made would be a song by him and for him, in a sense.

another song for himself to remember the colour codedness of his life.

**i. mauve purple**

that’s why he found himself fitting so snugly into the association he had with purple.

the sorts of sound he mostly associated with darker purples were usually bass or low vocals that don’t pop out instantly but give songs lots of body. it was the sort of thing that you didn’t often notice while it was present, but recognise the absence of. and it worked especially so for purples with more muted shades like mauve and grape; not so much for sangria and wine, because those were richer maroon shades more suitable for stronger-bodied sounds like tenor vocals that had a sort of velvety thickness to it.

those were succulent and rich; not like him, who was awkward and bad at dealing with anything that wasn’t his work. he aspired to be like that sort of velvety purple, but he was just a dull shade of mauve that hardly stuck out. yet in a way, he was satisfied with being just that. a solemn, greyish shade of purple that would fit nicely as a murky bass line; not quite present, but not absent either. buried beneath the more prominent instrumentals, but still there to support the song and give it depth.

that would work.

**ii. powder blue**

powder blue; a light, pastel shade of blue that was prominent and often the colour used for the celebrations of a baby boy’s birth. he felt that image colour was highly appropriate; not just because it matched his hair colour, though. and he wasn’t insinuating that dai was an infant, either. in fact, tsubasa was more of a child than dai was; yet dai was essentially the baby of solids, with how new he was to the industry he and rikka were practically raised in. tsubasa was new too, to be fair, but he was a special case because of his natural charm and charisma. he was practically made for the industry with how loud and flashy he was as well. but he digressed.

dai was very much unused to the camera, but he had the talent for it. (a light and versatile instrument would work with that.) hence shiki took him under his wing and raised him with rikka so they, as solids, could all be the best idol unit there was. so they could be the sort of idol unit shiki never got to be with his old unit with shu and takaaki.

he and rikka liked to spoil dai a lot because he was just so cute and innocent (compared to the rest of them) that it was fun to tease him. while he looked stoic and intimidating with his large build, he was actually just a softie who was kind of shy and clumsy. the gap was endearing, in his opinion. they had a sort of connection that made it possible for them to understand each other even in silence; for they shared the same wavelength.

light colours; colours that had a lot of potential to make an image pop up if used for highlights, were associated with the keyboard in his music-muddled brain. yet it couldn’t be too bright and would be of the same muted saturation as his mauve so it blends together nicely. light and delicate synths that were noticeable even with the rest of the instrumentals going on, adding space to the song and giving it the potential to add a nice airiness to it;

that would be nice.

**iii. cadmium yellow**

the yellow he associated with tsubasa was the sort that popped out and really made one stand out in a crowd, albeit being a little muted. it was kind of jarring at first sight, in his opinion, but it became more pleasant to view with time, though he still preferred cooler shades. he’d always choose blue over yellow, frankly, and yellow clashed with his own mauve to boot. it wasn’t the best colour combination to him.

sound-wise, he grouped yellow with bright and cheery vocals and the strums of the acoustic guitar. but in the case of the yellow tsubasa was associated with? something more jarring and attention-seeking like the electric guitar fit better. it’d work perfectly in livening up the song, and he chuckled, because that was exactly what tsubasa did.

he livened things up, and though he was usually just annoying to shiki, he could still appreciate that. rikka loved him dearly anyway; they shared a similar love for fashion and shopping, that it was reminiscent of a sweet mother and child relationship. tsubasa had a relationship with rikka in the way he never was able to with his own mother, due to all the strict rules they implemented with him, hence they’d have to have colours and sounds that complement each other.

shiki was an outsider to the special relationship rikka and tsubasa shared, but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t warm his heart to see the two of them interact because of how happy the two of them always looked together.

though it would sometimes spark in him an itching sort of jealousy, but he was going off on a tangent.

yellow was bright and a little blinding, initially hard to look at properly if paired with too much light, but if fitted in with darker shades would be a nice accent to fill things in with.

it popped, it stood out, it was important. fitting for electric guitar riffs that filled up empty space and stood out in the mix, that gave it a sound of modernity and made it pleasing to the ear.

that fit him alright.

**iv. space blue**

a shade of blue as dark as the endless galaxy fit the cryptic child of little words. he never interacted too much with the older twin of shu’s unit — mostly because shu got possessive and said he’d corrupt his innocent children, but his children didn’t seem all that innocent to begin with. and he’s the one who taught shu all he knew in the first place, so he wondered what the younger implied by that…..

but he felt like issei reminded him a little bit of dai, with his stoic disposition, yet it went much further than just being shy.

he was a child of little words, yet the words that he did speak were always meaningful and sometimes he wondered to himself what someone so young had to go through in order to develop such mature philosophies.

the older twin was frailer and had a disposition of melancholy and passivity, and while he was new to the struggles of the entertainment industry in specific, he wasn’t new to the struggles of the world.

being an orphan who had to deal with social stigma probably made that worse, and he respected the younger child for surviving so long whilst supporting both himself and his little brother.

the colour he associated with him was hence a space blue— not just because shu had mentioned before that his cute issei was having an interest in stars — but because that sort of colour shrouded in mystery would generally be dim, but alluring enough for you to wonder what it hides in specific. a nice dark shade that wasn’t just black, yet it was much more than just a blue.

it was deeper and more full-bodied, and hence a string instrument with a more full and reverberating echo would be suitable. a cello or viola, perhaps? it would give the song a special sort of lustre only a string instrument could give; something melancholic yet very present, but also had an air of mystery breathed into it.

that was a sound very befitting for him.

**v. candy apple red**

candy apple red; though he could never say it to the other’s face— he felt like it was overly suitable especially with how adorably childish his behaviour was sometimes. no offense was meant by that, for the record, it was just a remark. in a way it was a compliment as well, because the childishness he had was so pure and nowhere near as annoyingly mischievous tsubasa’s was; it was a sweet, vibrant sort of childishness that came with a little bit of naivete and ignorance but precious nonetheless.

it was a colour almost tailor-made to the younger twin, he felt, with how it was slightly orange and yet a vibrant red that characterised his bursts of energy almost perfectly. while he personally didn’t interact with the twins a lot (because shu “protects” them from him defensively; a rude gesture on his part), he’d seen enough of their behaviour when he and shu planned for sq outings together. and he’d come to enjoy how tsubasa bothered ichiru instead of bothering him too.

(that was a joke.)

it also made shiki reminisce his time as a teen and realise how little of a life he actually had; already knee-deep into the crevices of the entertainment industry. while these children didn’t manage to grow up in a regular environment either, at least they weren’t forced to learn the unspoken rules of the entertainment industry the hard way without any mentorship. they had shu and eichi to protect them, and it also made him nostalgic as to how he himself was shu’s mentor. at least they didn’t have to go through what he did.

this incited in him a sort of complicated emotion; an endearment wherein he thought them cute and adorably innocent, yet a pity of sorts for the situation they had to go through despite their tender age.

for a pair of teenagers, they were awfully jaded, and it was kind of heartbreaking.

for a bright and vibrant shade of red like this, it had to be something that stood out very much in a song and also blended in nicely with the guitars while being as noticeable as the key instrumentals as well.

the drums, perhaps?

it “clashed” with the guitars yet complemented it nicely; he felt like that nicely represented the sort of relationship ichiru had with tsubasa. both were really loud and demanded to be heard; and if that wasn’t what the two of them were, he’d be damned.

that was perfect for him, he supposed.

**vi. chartreuse green**

it was much warmer a green than most, and a colour light and fresh enough to be associated with acoustics. just like eichi, it had to be vibrant and have a sort of fuzzy warmth to it.

eichi melted down shu’s icy walls that he put up inadvertently, and as the person who practically raised shu, he was very thankful to him for introducing shu to the sort of regular warmth people felt in their families. he also had a magic touch in how he was so awfully likeable; he wasn’t incessantly loud like tsubasa, but extroverted enough to be able to talk to anyone and get along with anyone easily. for someone as awkward as himself, people like eichi impressed him immensely.

and at the same time, he had a sort of nurturing feel to him where he always made sure to take care of others; and for someone who’d grown up in the cutthroat world of the entertainment industry, it was a pleasant surprise to work with someone who was as good-natured as him.

that was definitely a sentiment towards eichi that he shared with shu; though the feelings shu had for eichi were far more than just that.

he was grateful that eichi was there to be by his side and stay for him the way shiki never did when he left the unit— a decision he always looked back on with partial regret because of shu. yet when shu had told him he had made a new unit and introduced him to eichi and the two twins he had picked up, he suddenly felt like a weight had been lifted, because now shu had a new family to take care of and he was glad for the role eichi played in that new space shu had made for himself.

it was refreshing to know shu had finally found someone he could connect with and hold so tightly to his heart; the loving gazes shu always gave eichi were only a small fragment of what he felt for him, he was sure. he associated that comfort eichi gave him in essentially taking care of shu for him with him; he could never think of eichi without feeling a sense of relief for he had fixed the part of shu that he had fucked up by leaving him all alone in their previous unit.

therefore the sound that should work with it had to be something that had a soft and light ring to it that brought along the sense of tranquillity and comfort. something that encompassed gentleness and would fit snugly in a lullaby.

windchimes, perhaps?

the soft tinkling of windchimes was perfect for eichi, with the way it rang lightly yet was always so pleasant to the ear. it reminded him of the subtlety he often witnessed between shu and eichi’s interaction, with their innocent touches making the ever-expressive eichi turn a little red behind the ears and the way he would beam at shu so radiantly that the latter would melt into a smiling mess (and later tell shiki all about how his dearest eichi was so precious)

and most of the description on that were based off what shu had commented on in the middle of a conversation with shiki, or at least part of the countless conversations shu had with him which were just about how “eichi is too cute” or “i love eichi so much, he did this today and”, and he digressed.

but yeah, windchimes.

that would suit him the best.

**vii. cobalt blue**

cobalt blue; an icier shade of blue that wasn’t very saturated, and something like a darker version of phthalo blue.

shu was a very private person in general, who never talked much about himself and always preferred to deflect the topic over to anything else. due to his handsome looks and princely aura, people tended to avoid him out of admiration and he ended up becoming isolated because he came across as “too perfect” to many.

this hindered his ability to make friends, of course, but shu wasn’t exactly the best at socialising either so that didn’t really work out well for him. he came off as too formal and too polite more often than not, and it was difficult to get past his unintentionally-built icy walls because shu didn’t know how to pull them down; hence he never got to experience many interpersonal relationships, and it was especially hard since he didn’t always have both his parents there to give him that general familial relationship every person needed.

and that’s why he was very important to shu; because he was one of the first few people who managed to click with shu despite everything, and because they had managed to form a bond that made them special to one another. shiki was shu’s mentor in a way as well, being the person who was together with him the most and being the more experienced senior of the two.

even up to now, he still felt a sense of responsibility when it came to shu. even though shu had grown well and become capable enough on his own to take care of his own matters, he would instinctively pay attention when he heard anything related to shu, for the feeling that he needed to take care of him would always be predominant.

that’s also why he impacted shu the most when he left their previous unit; he knew shu felt like he was abandoning him to pursue his own selfish passions, and he would forever feel guilty for that. he _was_ , after all, someone that shu considered a very close friend. shu feeling betrayed that he wouldn’t stay behind to be with him wouldn’t have been unreasonable.

yet, it turned out to be for the better in the end, even though shu still felt bitter about his leaving him alone. (“how many times do you want me to say sorry for that?”) for shu had found someone to give him the interpersonal relationships he never knew he needed this much, and even made a little family for himself that warmed his heart to see.

listening to shu ramble on about _how much he enjoyed making music with quell_ , _how lucky he felt to have met eichi and made him join his unit_ , and _how adorable his twins are_ never ceased to put a rare smile on his face because he was just so glad that shu had finally found somewhere he was happy to belong.

shu being happy with quell made him happy in return because the familial warmth that quell radiated was something that shu really deserved to experience, and he would always be grateful for quell for being able to give shu what he never managed to finish giving.

so, for shu, he decided on the sounds produced by a grand piano; it exuded the same elegance and composure as he did, being an instrument that was typically associated with prestige. yet the sounds would only be at its best if played with feeling and passion, and would only be dull if played without that. in that same vein, he always felt like shu was someone who really needed to feel the overwhelming warmth of family one day so that he could thrive. up to the point he hadn’t met quell yet, you could tell that he was missing warmth in his life,

and he did really “thrive” after feeling that in the end, with quell by his side to support him and love him the way he never really got to be loved before.

if the massive mood shifting from a minor key to a major key on a grand piano didn’t fit that perfectly, he didn’t know what would.

**viii. rose pink**

frankly, he never thought the day would ever come that he’d associate pink with a male, due to his conservative asian upbringing in which girls and boys had to fit into a certain mould to be living up to what their parents expected of a son or a daughter.

yet, it did, and with a man as gorgeous as aphrodite no less.

it wasn’t a blazing fuchsia that demanded your attention, but rather the sort of pink that blended into a scene of exquisite luxury very naturally. it was the same pink shade as the rose gold so often seen in fancy jewellery stores; pink as the roses that connoted elegance, grace and poetic romance— all of which reminded him of the latter.

rikka was a man who exuded an air of elegance but also solitude; similar to shu, he was someone who came off as too perfect to the people around him, so his presence would usually be met with hushed whispers of admiration, and perhaps a few fans who ask for his autograph. after all, someone who’s managed to survive being a _model_ for so long would have **had** to have a very steady following or else he’d have been replaced long ago.

he wasn’t too well-read on the entirety of what the modelling scene was like, but he knew the industry well enough to know that models were merely expendable goods to their companies. there were so many people who wanted to do it that the supply was high and therefore any depreciating model could be happily replaced by some budding talent. it was cutthroat, to say the least.

that’s why it wasn’t surprising that rikka had such a jaded outlook on people; joining this kind of business would inexplicably cause anyone to think humans were all this greedy because of how dirty the innards of modelling companies were; he’d experienced far more than shiki ever had. and he had joined it as a small child, to boot.

his eyes shallowly reflected the disdain he had towards the disgusting greed humans possessed-- he probably assumed the worst of everyone and shiki could hardly blame rikka for feeling that way; not when he grew up surrounded by adults who only wanted to profit off of his appearances. his polite smiles towards the on-set crew and people around him were just courtesy, there was nothing behind them.

yet he gave shiki the same vibe of melancholy that shu did when they had first met, though shiki was much more intimidated of rikka than he had ever been of shu. and despite them being only a year apart with shiki being older, rikka had a look of maturity that was surprising to find on a mere teenager-- even if he was almost reaching official adulthood.

in the same way shu did, shiki felt that rikka probably lacked the warmth of interpersonal relationships as well-- not to be mistaken with familial warmth, for rikka had both his parents and they were a happy family together, or so it seemed. at the very least, he felt like rikka was the sort who didn’t have a lot of friends. connections, perhaps. but friends? probably not a lot. besides, his occupation as a model would generally attract awe and attention and a lack of people wanting to befriend him for who he was rather than how he was a popular model.

but when shiki met him, he felt the contrary. he wanted to know what was behind that untouchable appearance of sugary pink and see the warmth that he hid away from the world to defend himself. he wanted to genuinely get to know him, and despite being as awkwardly introverted as he was, he wanted to be friends with rikka.

or maybe it wasn’t “wanting to be friends” that he felt, but love. either way, their first meeting sparked something inside of him (and rikka too, he optimistically assumed), and their relationship just developed from there as if it were the most obvious thing that should have happened.

they never had that magical click between them as shiki and shu did, and never really talked to each other when they had first met. yet, they mysteriously kept in touch and had (somehow) gotten close enough to each other interpersonally that they had established a full relationship by the time shiki decided to form solids.

the relationship they had evolved into something that became as natural as breathing. having rikka come over to brew him coffee and make him a meal after a long day at work was the kind of tender act he’d do for the sake of shiki. warm, contrary to his cold and untouchable exterior. rikka was surprisingly maternal in the way he treated shiki; constantly nagging at him to take care of his body and health, and helping him with things around the house. shiki had to say that those simple acts meant a lot to him; he was someone who expressed love by doing things for others to help them or to make life easier for them, so that wasn’t any big surprise.

he himself was also beginning to learn the art of reading between the lines, and identifying the nuances which pointed out rikka’s moods. he’d come to learn that rikka’s emotions had many shades and degrees, and apparently rikka appreciated the fact that he even noticed that (or so he told him, but he didn’t really know how to feel about it).

it began to mould them into something that snugly fit the other without their knowledge, and slowly it developed into something you couldn’t tear apart without somehow wrecking them individually.

he couldn’t imagine a world without rikka, and he hoped he never had to.

their relationship was something built on a mutual trust and reliance on the other, where they could be themselves without any lies blocking themselves from the other. it was an honest and open relationship where they let every part of themselves be shown to the other, and he would always feel so honoured that _sera rikka_ , the _nationwide famous model_ , would expose himself bare to shiki of all people.

as opposed to the way shu and eichi acted like lovesick newlyweds who were treasuring every experience they had together so innocently, he and rikka were more like an old married couple who considered each other home because they were so used to the other’s presence.

the emotion he felt whenever he saw rikka was the closest thing he would ever be able to correlate with the vague term people know as “happiness”, in which he would feel a flurry of feelings. be it warmth, comfort, or relief, he always just felt this fuzzy emotion surface from within him and he enjoyed it despite how vaguely he felt it. rikka was the only one who could ever make him feel that, and that was a constant that had remained unchanged throughout their six continuous years together.

therefore he associated that pleasant, uncomplicated happiness with the other, for it was only with rikka when he could feel like he was genuinely cared for, and that he had someone who was his and his alone.

it matched perfectly with the brightness of rose pink and how soft yet clear it was; the orangey hue it had fit the sort of warmth he felt with him, and the delicacy of the colour suited rikka’s very being to a t. frankly, the colour alone made him think of rikka (not just because of his hair), and always brought a soft smile to his face.

after all, that same pink washed in the glow of the sun shining from the blinds was what he woke up to on his best mornings, and it only ever reminded him of being welcomed back into his house with a warm cup of coffee and a passionate kiss.

with rikka, he attached that same luxury and finesse he exuded with the violin; with all the looks of something high-class, but only capable of hitting those perfectly elegant notes if handled with expertise. the way the sounds it produced flowed so smoothly but were also accentuated with underlying power— it made him think of a dancer, with their movements fluid like the wind yet only possible because of years of painful training.

rikka’s grace was what you first observed, but then you’d come to realise that that grace was something he had to cultivate tirelessly and carefully along his years. the ignorant would only observe the results of that endless practising, but people like shiki who were veterans in the industry could really recognise what was behind the perfect display.

and then he came to appreciate it even more, for the imperfections that lie beneath that beautiful flutter were even more dazzling than the supposed perfection others found breathtakingly radiant.

it was through his blood, sweat and tears that he had come so far to where he was now, and shiki recognised that and embraced him and all his hard work; something rikka told him nobody had ever done before, because all they ever wanted from him was flawless end results.

and he loved that sweet, sweet sound of the strings, not only because of how nicely it rang to the ear, but because he warmly embraced all the effort that was put into being able to produce that melody in the first place.

as he sat huddled onto the sofa with a sleeping rikka on his shoulder, listening to a track of a violinist playing a tchaikovsky concerto, he figured it really did fit rikka after all.

—

with that, he felt as if he could conclude this song, and all the colours of the palette had been set. with only eight colours and eight sounds, he could create a masterpiece that was made just for himself and that only he could ever interpret the nuances behind.

he could create music that was not only by him and for himself, but something even more exclusive than that that fully used all that he had felt thanks to these seven special people around him.

and if that wasn’t good enough to properly represent the colour-codedness of his life, he didn’t know what else would be.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I HOPE THIS WASN'T TOO CONFUSING FOR YOU..... and i really hope you enjoyed it! and also!! mega thanks to shinke for helping me beta this even though you were so tired ;;;; ilysm
> 
> honestly this entire thing was made because i do sound engineering sometimes and my mentor once told me “you balance the sounds to make a song just like how you balance the colours in a painting” and my brain has never forgotten that ever since…..,
> 
> also i wanted to write a small character study for shiki and the colour thing just so happened to slip inside my thought processes so this happened..??? i hope you enjoyed it at least, thank you for reading!
> 
> i highly appreciate comments so if you could take just a little bit of time to share your thoughts on how it was like reading this, i would really love that,, !! ❤ 
> 
> (and for the record: this had 1.2k words of shuei, and rikka's section was a full 1.5k words)


End file.
